I like riding my bike to work. The only way I'm able to make time to exercise during the week is by using my commute, so riding and running are perfect. Not to mention it saves on gas money and pollution. It's a win-win really. But anyone who's ever ridden in even mild traffic knows that sometimes your ride can suck.

You'll be huffing and puffing up a steep hill and some old piecer or diesel truck comes whizzing by with black smog pouring out of his tailpipe. You quickly switch to trying to breathe out only for fear of getting a mouthful of exhaust. Seriously there are days I wonder if riding in traffic is counter productive. Exercise is supposed to be good for your body but I can't help think I might one day end up with lung cancer from inhaling all these fumes.

A diesel truck hauling ass past always startles me and the gust of wind from it actually makes me swerve. Or maybe that's just from fear while imagining him swerving into my little lane and taking me out.

Getting stuck behind a city bus can suck. Trying to pass the bus while they're at a stop taking up my lane is quite scary since I'm never sure when they're gonna take off. Sometimes the timing is not in my favor and I pass them, only for them to pass me, and then me to catch up to them again at the next stop.

Drivers that like to slowly creep out while waiting to turn make me very nervous as I have no idea what they're gonna do or if they see me. Make eye contact people. That's the only way I know you see me.

There is A LOT of road kill. Squirrels, birds, cats, raccoons, skunks, possums, and completely unidentifiable animals end up smeared all over the road. The saddest to see is definitely cats as you know they probably belonged to someone. I have no sympathy for squirrels however since they seem to be constantly playing chicken.

There is a lot of debris in the bike lane, including the aforementioned road kill. Pine cones, garbage, and broken glass are the most common. Other interesting things I've seen are tree branches, hub caps, underwear, socks, shoes, hair ties, toys, bike locks, and full dirty diapers. Seriously people, use a fucking trash can. It's cleaner here than it was in Reno but still I'm appalled at the crap (literally) people will throw out the window. And smokers, cigarettes are still litter damn it! The planet is not your ashtray.

So if you see a biker riding on the edge of the bike lane and you think, what the hell are they doing? They're more than likely dodging something potentially nasty or dangerous. Road bikes have high pressure tires so we do NOT want to roll over anything if we can help it. Popping a 90psi tire is probably scary as shit and I have no desire to find out how tough my tires are not while flying down a busy road.

I actually had someone honk at me for being in the bike lane at a stop light, because she wanted to turn right. Sorry peeps, the bike lane is for, wait for it..... BIKES! I don't care if you use it to turn right when no one is in it but don't honk at me unless I deserve it.

So please, when you're driving, get in the habit of checking the bike lane. My 15 year old helmet isn't going to save my brain if you hit me going 45. No helmet would. But that reminds me I should get a new one. Anyways as you can see, there are many things that happen on the road that you don't always notice in a car. I really wish every driver would ride their bike in traffic a few times so they understand what it's like, and maybe take better care to watch out for cyclists when they're behind the wheel.

...keeping in mind Sebastian is not even 5 yet....

• Eat your pizza so you can have ice cream.
• Quit eating your boogers.
• Your friends won't like you if you don't wipe your nose.
• It's only ok to call babies fat.
• Quit yelling at strangers and eat your food.
• You don't need to tell me every time you fart. Especially in public.
• Don't lick me.
• Get your hands out of your mouth.
• Get your hands out of your pants. If you want to play with yourself, go to your room.
• It doesn't matter how big your penis is. Quit talking about your penis.
• If you eat vegetables, your penis will get bigger. (That was all Brian)
• Don't talk about your penis, farts, poop, or boogers in front of girls. Remember Mommy is a girl.
• No we can't pee at the same time.
• You can only pee on a tree when you're camping. You cannot do that at the park. Pull your pants up.
• You have to put pants on if you want to go outside.
• Quit sticking your naked butt in the air.
• Quit slapping my butt.
• Quit touching my boobs.
• You shouldn't say fuck, you'll get in trouble at preschool
• Which one of your girlfriends did you play with today?
• Do your girlfriends kiss you on the mouth?
• No you can't play video games and watch TV all day.

And the worst one, the one I swore I'd never say to my kids, but have now said at least a dozen times because I can't think of an answer to his million whys...
Because I said so.

This makes it sound like he's a monster but these are things that are not said every day...mostly. I'd like to assume some of the more perverted things he says and does are not JUST because he's a boy... right? Someone with a daughter help me out here.

I am long overdue on a post about  Sebastian's NF1 (if you don't know what that is, you can read my other posts about it). After his eye exam last spring, we took a break from doctors. We decided there was no need until he started showing other symptoms. Sadly that time has come. Left on our list of doctors to try is just the neurodevelopment center. I was unable to get ahold of them when we first found out about this (almost 2 years ago... holy crap I don't believe it's been that long). We finally got a return call when we tried this time and we were able to get him appointments for physical therapy, and a pediatric neurologist, which isn't until March of next year! A doctor booking out that far...what is he, a magician? I'm betting he'll just charge us an insane amount of money to tell us what we've already heard. Nonetheless, I'd like to cover all our options and make sure Sebastian is getting all the care he needs.

At this point, it is hard to tell exactly what problems he is having from this disorder. Many of the things on the lists of complications from NF1 (things like ADD, socialization problems, balance and coordination, etc.) are things that can easily be explained away by his age. Most 4 year olds can't concentrate on one task for long, fall sometimes, or say awkward things in public. How are we supposed to know when it's from NF1? I think the answer is, we don't. We guess and hope we're right.

At this point, we do think it is delaying his physical development a bit. Most obvious is running, jumping, and writing. He seems to have muscle weakness and coordination issues. Brian took him to his first physical therapy appointment last month. It went well and he thinks it will really help Sebastian's physical development issues. The therapist said keeping him active like we're doing is the best thing we can do. It was reassuring to hear that we were on the right track to helping him. We hope to get him into regular physical therapy, but are trying to figure out how to afford it (one visit cost us $330!). Interesting that you can get an entire bottle of narcotics for $10 but something that's actually good for you costs hundreds of dollars. And by interesting I mean fucked up.

The other issue that is affecting Sebastian is writing. He is very intelligent (biased I know, but true). He knows all his letters and numbers, the sounds each letter makes, and is even learning how to sound out words and basic math. But he lacks the muscle strength to write. He can write ok with markers or draw on a touch screen, but using a pencil or crayon is very difficult for him. He gets tired quickly and quite upset if we make him practice for long. I think part of that is because his muscles really do hurt or tire quickly and the other part is that they have him practice so much at preschool that he's sick of it.

He's starting to notice that some things are a lot more difficult for him then they are for other kids his age. We're being honest and telling him that yes, he will have to work harder than most for certain things. His preschool teacher said he told her "I'm trying very hard!", as if he was concerned she thought he wasn't. She knows he is and is well aware that he just wants to keep up with all the other kids. I gave her some information about his disorder the other day so maybe that will help. We put off doing so until there was an issue because we didn't want him getting treated differently unless it was necessary.  She was thankful for the info. We're very grateful he has a teacher that cares enough about her students to learn about his disorder.

The discussions with his teacher broke my heart a little. Brian and I are guilty of writing him off as lazy sometimes, which means many people throughout his life will likely do the same. We have to constantly stop and remind ourselves that maybe whatever it is, is not laziness but something that is truly more difficult or causing pain or discomfort for him. It's so hard to find the balance between treating him like a normal kid, and treating him like a kid with a neurological disorder. I feel if we constantly use that as an excuse to expect less from him, then he won't try as hard to succeed. But on the flip side of course, it would be unfair to have "normal" expectations on things that are being hindered by this disorder. We're hoping as he gets older, it will be easier to tell what is a true complication and what isn't. In the meantime, our best guesses will have to suffice and we will continue to help him in any way we can.