Friday July 12th Brian and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary, for a total of 12 years together. Some might think that would ...

18 and Married

Friday July 12th Brian and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary, for a total of 12 years together. Some might think that would make one feel old, but in our case, that just makes us feel a little crazy. Yes we got married when I was 18 and Brian was 19.

Looking back now, we of course realize the insanity of getting married at such a young age. But at the time, honestly, we didn't even hesitate and it didn't scare us at all. We were confident teenagers who knew it all and were invincible right? It didn't matter what anyone thought, and it definitely didn't matter that statistics said there was very little chance we'd make it. All that mattered was we were young and in love.

Despite the craziness of what we did, I have absolutely no regrets. Even if it had failed miserably, I still would not regret it because I did what I wanted to do exactly when I wanted to do it. And life is about the experience, not about doing what's socially acceptable at the appropriate times. Fuck appropriate. Life is meant to be lived by your own terms, not anyone elses.

Now if an 18 year old (even my own children someday) came up to me and said they wanted to get married, I would have a few tips if they wanted to hear them. I started to write this list geared towards the younger audience when I realized, they really apply to anyone getting married at any age. So here they are, my 10 things to consider before getting married:

1) DO NOT LIE. Ever.

2) Have sex. Lots of it. If you don't like having sex with the person, then you need to talk about it. Don't be embarrassed to tell the other person what you want. No one wants to spend their life without orgasms.

3) Never go to bed angry- finish your disagreement right away. Holding grudges for days and staying angry never solved anything. Once it's done, have make-up sex.

4) Be friends first. You need to be able to be friends, have conversations, have things in common, have fun together. If you can't laugh with the person, you won't last. Your spouse should be your best friend. The person you can tell anything to and always be yourself around. If you are not being yourself around them, then they do not truly know who you are.

5) Do not try to change the person. If you want them to be someone they're not, then you do not love them for who they are. If they want to change, they will do it on their own. You cannot, and should not, try to make them.

6) Make sure you are not just trying to piss off your parents.

7) Make sure you are not just trying to fill some religious obligation you were raised with. Do what you feel is right, not what your family thinks.

8) Have sex first. Sorry I know that offends some religions, but let's face it, you don't want to be married to someone you loathe having sex with. Plus there should be some chemistry between you two. But for heaven's sake, use protection people (every damn time)! It does not matter what time of the month, position, if you're a virgin, or even if your doctor claims you can't get pregnant, you can get pregnant! You might be ready to get married but you sure as hell aren't ready to have a baby.

9) Know that you and the other person will change. Be prepared for this. And for the fact that you or the other person might change so much that your relationship will not last. This isn't a bad thing, not every relationship will last your whole life, but every relationship is still important and there is still much to learn from it.

10) Get rid of your expectations. Don't expect them to live up to some perfect soul mate vision you have. And don't expect to get everything you need from this one person. There are other people in your life for a reason. Keep your friends. You will want and need them.


Well it's been a pretty intense several months! Lots of good and bad things have happened, but they've all been pretty life changing...

The Past 4 Months

Well it's been a pretty intense several months! Lots of good and bad things have happened, but they've all been pretty life changing I must say. Here's a visual:

Ran a 10k
Totalled the Neon
Bought an '07 Rav4
Drank too much wine
Sebastian's Eye Exam
Got to see the gummy bear
Turned Brian into a Mermaid (oh and he chopped off his hair for the first time in 10 years)
Sebastian's eye exam went well. The doctor didn't see any problems. They want us to re-check every year but it sounded like kind of a waste of time. The doc admitted that it's hard to see an optic glioma with just an eye exam. Sounds like just checking his vision on a regular basis would show just as much. So far we're not concerned at all. This child sees everything!

It was rough to go from running 6.5 miles to being injured and not being able to exercise for over a month. Then after a few weeks of slowly starting to get back in shape, the morning sickness (all day sickness really) kicked in and I spent the next two months hanging over the toilet or sitting on the couch. I even had to cut back my hours at work to part-time for awhile. Now that the sickness is gone, I'm trying to get back into shape again, but other pregnancy side affects make it slow going. So much for "every pregnancy is different." Liars. It's worth it though, I really am very excited.

Believe it or not, there was good that came out of the accident as well. It really put things in perspective for me. Since getting Sebastian's results, I had that nagging worry I couldn't quite get rid of. But the accident managed to push that completely out of my mind. You know why? Because we could've died! That's right, one second you're just driving down the road, minding the rules of the road, and the next, some stupid dingbat has decided to just turn left across traffic even though there's cars in the freaking intersection. The whole thing happened so fast. It just made me realize how quickly our lives could've ended.

It's just not worth spending your life stressing out. Apparently the accident, and maybe the vicodin and nightly large glasses of wine, relaxed me enough that I finally got pregnant after trying for quite awhile. It still surprised me though. You'd think the stress of all that would've kept it away, but there's no beating evolution- those on drugs and alcohol always get pregnant easier. Well it's true, look around! Idiocracy baby, it's happening every day.