Today I did a guest post over at my friend Kristen's blog, in honor of NF Awareness month. So head over there and check it out.

https://invisibleillnessbattle.wordpress.com/2016/05/31/be-our-guest-nobody-said-it-was-easy/

Today is World NF Awareness day. Neurofibromatosis (NF) is a neurological disorder caused by a mutation in the NF1 gene. This is caused by either a parent with NF passing on the mutation (a 50% chance) or a new random mutation. NF happens to 1 in 3000 births, making it a "rare" condition. But it is more common than cystic fibrosis, muscular distrophy, and Huntington's Disease combined. For more information, visit ctf.org. 

For NF Awareness day, I want to express my gratitude for something I never thought I would be thankful for. I am thankful for whatever caused my son's random genetic mutation in his NF1 gene. I know I haven't always been grateful, in fact, I'm usually quite the opposite. Usually I'm saying why him? It's not fair. And it still isn't fair, but neither are many things that happen in this world. Fair is an illusion we all wish was real.

But I am grateful for this experience, as unfair as it is. Before having children, I never gave much thought to what it would be like to raise a child with special needs of any kind. Those types of things always happen to other people right? Wrong. These types of things happen to anyone, indiscriminate of pretty much all factors.

Having a child with this diagnosis is never easy. Sometimes it's downright frightening. But my eyes have been opened to so many things they never would have been otherwise. The level of compassion and understanding I now have for anyone with a chronic illness or disability, or child with either, is not something I would have achieved without this experience. There are some things, many things actually, in life you just can't understand until you experience them yourself.

So I am grateful for the compassion, patience, and empathy I have learned through this experience. I'm grateful for the opportunity to help raise awareness for NF. I'm grateful to be a part of the NF community, a group of people who truly care for one another. And most of all, I'm grateful for the amazing support we have received from our family and friends along this journey. Sometimes the world can be cruel and ugly, but when you receive real support from people you love, it's much easier to see past all of that and into the staggering beauty in the world.

So my thanks goes out into the universe, bringing me one step further on my journey of acceptance of my beautiful son's condition. Because of it, our family will be able to make a difference in the world in a way I never imagined.

If you would like to join us in spreading awareness, the NF Walk will be happening in Portland on July 24th. You can join Team Sebastian here: http://nfwalk.org/portland
 If you'd like to make a donation instead, you can do that here: https://join.ctf.org/fundraise/team?ftid=75933

Hello dear readers! I just spent the last several days in sunny San Diego visiting one of my best friends, Lindsay. Do you ever take a vacation without your kids or spouse? This was my first time. About a year ago, Brian and I realized we had never vacationed apart. When you have little kids, and no family super close by, it makes sense to take separate vacations sometimes so you can take turns and not have to pay for babysitting. Family vacations are wonderful, but sometimes you need a break. Nothing makes me appreciate my family more than that deep ache you get when you miss them most.

Beach in La Jolla

I've never done this before because I felt guilty about leaving them with Brian since he's already with them so much. Last year he went to a musical festival with a friend and it was the first time either of us had tried the separate vacation thing. He had a great time and I also had a fun weekend with the kids. Prior to that, I was honestly afraid I couldn't handle them both by myself for several days. I know that's a weird thing for a mom to say, but after Oscar was born, it took me awhile to feel confident that I could take good care of 2 kids on my own. I'm not the most patient mother and I was worried I would lose my cool and not have anyone around to give me a 5 minute break when I needed it (I know, I'm spoiled). It turned out just fine of course and I realized that overwhelming feeling is normal, for me anyway, while having a baby. Now that Oscar's not a baby anymore, I don't feel overwhelmed. Or maybe it's just the confidence that comes with time and practice.

What kind of flower is this?!

So after Brian's trip last year I told myself I needed to stop feeling guilty and take my own trip. It took me the better part of a year to actually plan something, but I'm so glad I did. It's hard to relax at home, even if the kids aren't home, there's so much to do around the house all the time. Cleaning, cooking, organizing, etc. Sitting around always makes me feel like I'm wasting time. It's hard for me to find the balance of allowing myself to relax without feeling lazy or guilty about it. Being away from all of that for a few days is amazingly refreshing. Brian wanted me to take this break so I have no reason to feel guilty. And I'm not in the house staring at all the things to do so there's no reason to feel bad about relaxing and doing nothing.

More beach

Nothing included sleeping in, nice walks around the beach towns and by the ocean, eating out at delicious restaurants, especially seafood (mmm I love being by the ocean), sitting in the sun, laying on the beach, and going to hot yoga for only the second time in my life. It felt so great to sweat that much. That's what I've been missing with my lack of cardio the last few months. Never underestimate the value of a good sweat and how detoxifying it is for your body. Friday was a night out with drinks and food and friends and I had such a great time, it was well worth the mild hangover and sore joints from too much wine. Although I did lay off the alcohol for the rest of the trip.

Am I drunken texting?!

So to all my parent readers, don't be afraid to leave your kids with your spouse for a few days and take a real vacation. The kind with friends and no work and lots of sleep and relaxation. Don't feel guilty because you will be such a better parent when you return. Your kids will appreciate the refreshed you versus the tired, stressed, and overworked you. When I get really stressed out, I am not a very good parent. I get depressed, impatient, and allow life to get too busy to spend quality time with them. That's not the mom I want them to have, so if taking a real break sometimes is what I need to do to be the best mom I can be, then I'm going to do it. And you should too! :)