It's crazy how the time has flown. When I think of everything we've experienced in that time, I realize it does feel like 11 years. We've been through so much together, not just as a couple but as individuals. We went from young, slightly co-dependent, but totally in love kids who didn't know as much as we thought we did, to strong, independent individuals who now understand that we don't understand anything! But it's not about understanding who we are, where we're going, or what our point is in life. It's about the ride, the journey, the experience. It's about making life what you want it to be.
You have helped me through some pretty horrific things. Things most friends and boyfriends ran away screaming from. You gave me the reason I needed at the time to love myself and move on. It made me feel like I owed you for all the help you gave me. But over the years I have come to realize the truth. You don't need me to be broken just like I don't need you to fix me. We really don't need each other at all. We just both enjoy the experiences we have together. That's the real reason I'm with you. Not for help, not for happiness, and not to feel worth. I'm here to simply BE with you. And I think you're here for the same reason. I'd have to say that's the best reason I can think of to be in a relationship.
I hope you know how unconditional my feelings are for you. No matter what, I will always care for you. There are always conditions to a relationship, but not to my feelings. That's what I mean when I say I love you. My definition of the love I have for you is a feeling so strong and unconditional that I don't have another word for it. It's that mutually beneficial feeling we have for one another that's helping us both be who we really are. I know that's all you want for me. You don't want me to change for you. You just want me to be the best version of myself. I appreciate that and hope you know I only want the same for you.
The life we've made together is more than I ever envisioned for myself. I never could have imagined even having a friend as good as you, let alone a husband. You rock my universe! Every day you never cease to amaze me on what an incredible human being you are. Not just in the way you treat me and Sebastian, which is amazing in and of itself. But in the way you treat everyone and everything you come in contact with. You don't have a mean or malicious bone in your body. It's so great to be with someone that I can look up to. You inspire me.
I do have one complaint however. You don't play and share your music enough! When I listen to you play I feel like everything good and worthy in this life is in there and I want everyone else to get to hear it too! Don't worry about the words, you don't need them. Your music is amazing all by itself. You don't have to be afraid of failure because as long as you are doing what you love, you will not fail. Just like with Sebastian. That child couldn't be any better because you are doing what you love when you take care of him. I guess that's why our relationship has turned out so wonderful as well.
Thank you for existing. I love you.
|July 12th, 2003|